Remember to Remember

Summer is still here!

Mary & DG

While many people are getting into fall mode, I prefer to savor the belief that summer is still here as we, officially, have [nearly, almost…] another 1 ½ months to go!

Let’s not allow marketers’ messages and holiday displays to move in just yet and, instead, allow yourself to drink up every last bit of summer. For those of us who respect New England and its winters (ugh!), I know this will resonate instantly.

It’s easy to understand why most of us love summer (see the “w” word above). I think it’s because…

Summer feels good.

In my walk with our Golden Retriever, Faith (aka… the love of my life), this past Sunday morning it proved testimony to how great it feels to enjoy the ease and fun summer offers. With the “postcard” day that arrived here in Madison, she and I watched a family immersed on the beach with their dog, shovels and smiles. Summer becomes tangible when we observe how people feel being outdoors at the beach, biking or enjoying outdoor parties with friends and family.

To choose a word to describe this feeling, what comes to mind is…

F – R – E – E – D – O – M

Freedom may seem like a simple word yet I’m curious, what meaning does it hold for you on a day-to-day basis? 

Certainly, freedom can relate to many aspects of our lives, however, what is, especially, inspiring [to me] is our freedom to choose our thoughts for a very simple reason…

Your thoughts create your experience right now.

Your thoughts create each and every moment of your life going forward. 

Freedom to choose your thoughts allows you to create your experience of life, your level of happiness and your level of positivity (yes, that’s a word)!

While this is easy to do when you’re on the beach… how do you choose positive thoughts and remain happy amid challenge, upset or rainy days?

I’ll ask you… 

Where does freedom truly begin? 

I’ll invite you to remember to remember, that freedom begins in your mind.

Life will throw us challenges… and then some. If you are interested in increasing fulfillment, I am here to tell you:

Staying positive is within your control.
Here’s how… try 1 thing.


Lemon PHotWhile life offers us no shortage of lemons and challenge, some do find greater ease in remaining positive and happy. While this does not mean they may like what life dishes out to them, it does mean they are able to remain more positive and happy despite challenges that arise. What’s the deal?

The secret to being and positive and happy is not a mystery.
It’s a mindset.

And, it takes the use of just 1 literal second as your best tool to make this more easily possible. Waiting just 1 second when a negative thought or situation arises allows you to remain in your “thinking” brain versus your “emotional” brain which, by the way, keeps your body out of fight or flight (aka the stress response).

Here’s the key: 

When challenge, upset or negativity arises, you WILL experience a physical reaction in your body caused by the stress hormone, cortisol.

Remember, stress is physical.

And, depending upon the level of upset you encounter, you will experience a rise in blood pressure, impact on your breathing and/or blood cells that get diverted to your arms and legs (versus your brain so you’re ready for ‘fight or flight’).

And, guess what? You can’t control the initial, physical reaction to stress. Just the same as being tapped on the shoulder, you will feel it.

However, what you CAN control is your next reaction or response and just how far you allow the stress to take charge over your body, mind and, therefore, positive thinking.

Here’s how you can stay in your thinking brain, positive… and in control.

Simply, notice the upset.

Notice how it feels in your body. What physically changes for you? Do you feel a pit in your stomach? A headache? Unsettled? Pissed off? Afraid? Nervous?

Now, just wait 1 second. One second… literally.

Wait 1 second as if you just hit the pause button on the remote control of your mind. Just 1 second.

Do you feel a space? Did your breathing slow? Are you calmer? Are you thinking versus reacting? Are you more present?

Try it right now. 

Think of a challenge you’re currently facing and notice what the experience causes you to feel in your body.

Did you receive bad news? Is your “to-do” list calling you? Is your “inner critic” screaming about what you should be doing right now? Do you have a pending deadline? Did someone hurt you? Does your body tighten? Your jaw stiffen? Your eyes narrow?

Feel it?

You just got tapped on the shoulder!


Wait 1 second; hit pause. Good, you’ve got the remote!

Do you feel a space? Did your breathing slow? Are you calmer? Are you thinking versus reacting?  Are you noticing?

If you do feel a space from the pause, CONGRATULATIONS!

What you’ve just done is thrown a net over your reaction and emotions to prevent them from spilling like a glass of water all over a table.

You’re now in charge… for this 1 second!

Wait… here’s where it gets easier… pause for just 1 more second after that.
Guess what you’ve done now?

You got it…you’ve just widened the net and are in charge of your reaction for another second.

You’re in charge!

By expanding your pause another second, you are creating more space. A space of FREEDOM to choose your reaction and the level you will allow your emotions to run the show.

Let me say, however, there may be times when you choose to have your emotions – well emote – and come forth in full expression. More power to you! The upset may perfectly warrant that. However, there may be times when YOU don’t want your emotions running the show to the degree your emotional brain thinks they should.

Here’s some points to remember to remember:
  • Emotions are physical
  • Awareness is the root of all transformation
  • Pausing between what we feel and how we respond (versus react) builds the muscle of emotional intelligence
  • Being happy and more positive is up to you yet it does not mean that we will enjoy every experience in our life
  • We are FREE to choose our response to what happens in life
Greater happiness and positive thinking can be more easily accessible when we pause for a second… and then another second… and another.
Here is how to build emotional muscle so you can enjoy more FREEDOM to choose your response and level of happiness.
This is what FREEDOM means to me and what I wish for you!

How cool is that?

To your EASE and SUCCESS!

Signature Mary





Mary Stager is known for her passion for helping people remove barriers to success so that life is easier, not harder.  She is the founder of re-thinc, LLC, the “un-consulting” firm committed to the growth and empowerment of entrepreneurs not only for them to be more successful in their work but also so they can lead more fulfilling lives.

Mary has worked with hundreds of people in helping them tame their business and their mindset to achieve the goals that matter most to them.  Having lost her Mom as a teen, she is passionate about helping people create more success in their work and a life of more meaning and purpose that they can enjoy now versus later.

Mary helps people re-thinc their relationship to their work, important people in their lives and their dreams at the same time. If you enjoy this article, you’ll love the transformations you’ll experience in Mary’s programs that will help you achieve higher levels of success and happiness!


Start a conversation with Mary today… what challenge stands in the way of your greater success or fulfillment.

It doesn’t cost anything to talk.

It’s time to re-thinc!

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